So, sometimes; things get messed up a lot and I tend to say things which I didn’t mean to utter in the first place. At least I say things with a tone which wasn’t really my intention. As a result, the word most hated by me has to creep in: SORRY!
I literally get shocked at people who stay calm while listening to others – how do they do that? If Lord could give me that ability, the world would have been such a social place to live for me! Anyways, now I’m improvising and trying to figure out exactly what do I do wrong when presenting my point of view (it’s never a debate with me, it’s always an intentionally waged war, a mere blasphemy!). Here’s a list of what you might very well be doing wrong as well!
That happens every time, basically – whenever I try and present my thoughts on a particular matter, there are things which I can’t properly speak out and that creates problems for me. Be it a general discussion over politics or religion (you know how general these discussions already are), whenever I start saying something; people definitely end up thinking I’m just…disturbed.
Well, obviously it’s not the case with me. It’s just that I fail to communicate everything properly. While I have everything fully settled in my mind, soon as I start uttering my thoughts out: I either forget the basis of what my point-of-view stood upon, or I tend to miscommunicate by adopting a tone a little on the harsh side.
Communication is very, very important for anger management. Failing to communicate simply means you are giving the opposition the unwelcomed space to arouse your anger. Don’t let them speak before you are done with your side of the chatter, and when you are done….PLEASE don’t speak till the opposition is finished, even if he/she says T-Pain’s voice isn’t auto-tuned (say what, goon?!).
Try to think of it as this way…the other party is simply not stopping to listen to you, what would you do? Scream your socks off to make sure they listen to you no matter how hard they are screaming? No! That’s absolutely not the way to handle a challenge. I read a FANTASTIC quote that day on somebody’s Instagram. It said, “Kill them with success, bury them with a smile!”
Smile? Yeah, right. That’s what I used to think till I analyzed things a little more in perspective. My sisters – they always SMILE and that very giggle is what gets me angry! Why do they do that? Well, I don’t know, but they simply smile till the time I end my part of the yackety-yak. And when I’m done, they reply with equanimity (oh well, I let them speak then). The result: they win most of the times (*MOST*, not every time!)
Bringing it back to you – give the opposition a smile and BURRY them while they are chattering all over the place. Let them scream, and when they calm down, make sure you speak yourself out then. No need to scream your lungs out and breathe like a stallion who just did the Jebel Ali Racecourse! Keep your calm, enjoy the challenge (don’t care what they’re saying: they would be confident and won’t try to IMPOSE their content had they been right!).
I don’t know what’s so complex about this but most of us just like to act up in front of others (most of us!) We start arguing the moment we smell something going fishy or someone going off track with us. The local newspaper the other day had this story that two people starting throwing jabs at each other and the melodrama continued after the customer refused to pay for a water bottle.
What in the heck is wrong with us? Why the frustration? You don’t like the shopkeeper, don’t buy from him! Let. Him. Be! Don’t even go near him! With that said, there are times when people just like to pin-point you for your past fallacies (we all are human, everyone is wrong). So, when such circumstances prevail, the best thing is to get up and leave the place ASAP.
Why? I ask why not?! There are thousands of goofnuggets and demented heads out there…will you argue with each and every one of them? Absolutely not! This is why, it is only wise of you if you try and avoid the catastrophe about to strike.
Let me share the BEST solution to it. Someone is mushing you, you make sure you communicate that you are hurt and move out. There is no need to pull out a pistol and point it on the offender’s head. If someone is likely to talk about you in a negative way, you can simply make him/her stop by saying, “I don’t know why are you doing this, but it simply doesn’t feel nice. And no, I won’t reply to that – why be you when I can be me?”
That’s the BEST reply to the opponent, and trust me, the hit is straight to the brains! He/she will think later what did you really do to deserve such animosity? And at the end of the day, you are the one who is going to be the wiser one.
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