Now that you both have actually decided to call it a little more than just a regular fight, it’s time to proceed with precaution. Your words and actions are on the verge of hurting a family member so bad you might not be able to face them ever again in your life. You wouldn’t want that to happen, no matter the differences. So just let them do the talking and try to convince them using the politest of tone. Do not bring in swears brotherly talks usually incorporate.
Things may escalate between you two, especially if the other one is a little short-tempered. In such situations, it is better to say “I agree – I am completely wrong” than to say anything that would act like a sword on your relationship. There is a reason why your words can actually make a young plant crumble and die within weeks. Stop spreading negativity and don’t let your angry sibling remember anything sore that bugs him/her all his/her life.
This is a pretty valid and immensely detailed point. While you may be listening to them, not valuing their point of view also has sulphurous consequences sometimes. Remember, things have gone far out of reach to just say “shut up, idiot” and resolve everything with a hug. Let them know you actually hear them, are not intending to fight back anymore and definitely value what they say.
Hold up! I never meant for you to go in your own direction and leave your sibling on his/her own. That’s not possible – even though it may seem so for the moment being. The memories of all the craziness, of all the most cherished times in life spent together will haunt you if you decide to go your own separate ways, and that’s going to knock that even balance out of your life for good! Nightmarish indeed.
What I meant was, there is always a million more ways to let yourself be heard and your point of view accepted. After all, they are family – how long can they argue, eh? No need to be aggressive and aggravated when things come down to a face-to-face chatter; keep your calm and try to make them understand like your mother/father/grandmother or any other polite kind-hearted senior of the family would.
If they are being childish, don’t let yourself seem demented. You need to take charge and let your siblingship survive through the worst so that you both can enjoy the best together, happily ever after. Try being more of a teacher when things don’t work out the same old way, or even like a guardian if it’s worse than expected.
What if the matter is actually quite messed up? No problem! Let them be for a couple of days. Whether it’s your elder sister that is not able to understand you or perhaps a younger brother with a little bit of an attitude problem, let them take their time for settling down and only then you are able to talk it out. Meanwhile, you don’t have to stay lonely and make the unloved loneliness your best friend! Try to find that one particular activity you find possible doing even without them?
Let them know you miss them and truly value them by throwing in some affectionate status updates regularly. Put your social accounts to your avail and remember to put in a status soon as you find your sibling online. This ensures they get to read the message without you having to directly inbox them and bug them unnecessarily.
That’s just one way of not letting the distances seem normal. You need to constantly remind yourself that family ties are greater than all fights. Pretend your brother/sister is there with you and have a chat with them. If your brother/sister is living at another place, I recommend writing some letters to them. Don’t post them, silly – keep them with you. Let yourself know you will always respect them for what they are and that once the silly fight is over, you both are going to be together forever.
I have done the same and that’s why I can recommend that writing unposted letters is probably the best way of letting all the hurt out without even putting your sibling under stress.
It’s a very common practice to pretend that everything’s completely normal and unchanged after all the catastrophe. It is almost impossible for us to be “completely normal” after having a major conflict with your best bud. As Wiz Khalifa puts it; “Attachments lead to expectations and expectations lead to disappointments.” Well, sometimes they do, but that’s definitely not the case with family.
No need to pretend everything’s completely normal and you had such a peaceful night’s sleep yesterday night after the fight – let it be known you are quite upset and find it difficult to get over everything. Let out a clear message and that will definitely tempt some sort of reaction. Find moments to let them see you are alone and sad. After all, they are family – let them know your weaknesses.
I have had tons of fights with my siblings, but the worst one so far definitely has to be the current one with my elder sister. We haven’t quite talked in a while…we haven’t even looked at each other for over a month basically. I’m just sharing my experiences with all of you wonderful souls so that none of you have to deal with the mess I am dealing with. Maybe this article is an attempt of mine to let my message through.
I hope that happens. It gets really hard for you to actually remember your siblings and value them the same way after some time. Don’t let that time come where you find yourself better off alone. Letting a relationship die is the last thing you would want to do – it only creates regrets that will last a lifetime. The best way of overcoming it is just making your siblings realize they are family even if they say you are not.