Let’s get down to business straight on. First of all, you need to take the time to define a line between your best friends, your good friends and a long list of people who just greet you with a formal smile. Think of it like this – what if the one friend you started calling “family” starts complaining you don’t give him/her time?
Well, obviously you won’t argue with them! There’s no point in arguing. If you are unable to give them the same amount of time as before, just make them feel valued, respected and loved whenever you meet them! There’s always that one specific person in your cluster in whom you find a way better friend than the rest. Recognize that person and define him/her your priority. Be careful while doing so. I read a quote coming from Madam Oprah Winfrey. She said:
"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."
You need to find that person who is more than willing to take that bus ride with you. It’s not that difficult really – all you need to do is give time to those who want to consume your time. Take all the time you need, read every move of theirs carefully and try to find their original intention behind all the “we’re best friends forever!” chatter.
Best friends don’t just say that, they mean it. That one girl/guy who has been planning the most important days of your life which are to come at least 7 years later in life – that’s a true friend. So, you need to have an opinion on everyone and make sure who you take as your best friend ACTUALLY takes you as one.
The most common way of managing friends many find handy is they introduce one social circle to another. Imagine you have a whole cluster of school besties who want to stay with you most of the time while at the same time you have to manage socializing with your college mates as well! What would you do? DO NOT think of defining your priorities for a whole group. Introduce your school friends to your college buds, simple as that!
Plan one hangout with both the groups and make sure all of them get a fair amount of chance to know each other and sit down and have some quality time. Not only will it provide your friends with one of the best social night outs ever but it sure-as-shooting will make your life a whole lot easier!
Okay. Here’s the tricky part – what if the one friend you ACTUALLY found your only best friend in is having a hard time getting along with the other new group members? What if he/she demands you to treat him/her the same old way? Well, while everything may have seemed perfect before, here’s one situation to test how good you are at managing friends. Remember, that one person is your best friend; he/she is just like family.
So, for such a special person, what you need to do is convince them to join the group. It will take time for him/her to accept it but believe you me, one day, he/she will have to realize you have a whole group and you expect him/her to be a significant part of it. It takes time for some friends to understand, but that doesn’t mean you argue back, find their demands intimidating and organize a complete embargo against them.
Leaving the best ones out of the league is the most painful task, and we are most probably going to regret doing so all our lives thereafter. If a best friend requires some time – give it to him/her. No best friend will EVER want you to leave everyone else for him/her. You give him/her the time he/she wants and the next day he/she will ask you to call the rest of the group. Or if not that, then at least he/she will ask you himself/herself to go sit with your group because it doesn’t seem nice you ignoring them!
A big “Hurrah!” for best friends – they are awesome. You need to understand who actually wants you to be with them all their lives. It doesn’t take long to break a friendship, but the regret is actually very painful when time moves on and we realize we’ve made a terrible mistake. It’s not about keeping it strictly with your best friends, but moving on with them in life and welcoming new ones.
As they say, “A friend to many is a friend to none.” Don’t let your best mate think of the same for you.
Another reason why people may start taking you more than just an average friend at school/college/workplace is because you might have given them the impression that they are valued a bit too much. Text messages, social networks and other form of social media is largely to blame here. Many may not even take the time to realize you have started valuing them as your best friend. Well, be clear and precise with your friends and let them know who is valued most and who stands with the rest.
This little confusion might hurt that one friend badly later, when you unintentionally, try to show who you actually think of as your BFF. And please, don’t make it quick proclaiming someone as the one topping the long list – it takes time and so should it be the case with you as well. Take some time, do your study and react accordingly.
Going out with friends is really important. Leaving that one best friend unattended because he/she doesn’t like to gel much isn’t really a wise move now, is it? Well, why call him/her your besty in the first place? Maybe he/she wasn’t even meant to be your friend. Maybe he/she has done nothing to make you feel so special. Maybe he/she was plainly selfish. Or maybe, you were wrong. Most of the times, it’s the latter that is the case. Don’t let yourself be a part of such confusion.
We all are imperfect, and I agree – true best friends are really mean. I love being one, just because I love spending time with my best ones. Good luck managing your social circles. Let me know how the ideas worked out for you. Cheerio.